NAUGHTY OR NICE
or
WHEN MISBEHAVIOUR IS ACTUALLY 
AN ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE

         Intention … I stop to think about this word.  What exactly is “intention”?  It’s an aim or plan.  Intentional means deliberate – “misbehaviour” indicates underlying intentions.  Just as a two year old is labeled going through the “Terrible Twos” some special needs children are labeled as “misbehaving”. 

         When a two year old is throwing a tantrum it is a huge message that she is frustrated because no one seems to understand what she needs.   Sometimes all she wants is someone to acknowledge her feelings.  When a special needs child starts shouting or hitting it is a huge message, “I want to tell you something and I don’t know how!”

     If you have a spouse or a teenager you know how frustrating it is when you can’t communicate and understand each other.  Sometimes our brains are just wired differently for communicating and understanding.  Imagine being a special needs person who has no way at all to communicate at all.  What strength they must have to keep trying to connect and communicate!

         To simplify – in order to bang a nail into a board you need some sort of tool whether it is a hammer or a rock.  In order to communicate, you must have the tools as well - whether it is talking, using sign language, using pictures or electronics.  You need something!  Even just “yes” and “no” makes a difference.

The Stories

Nina

        

Nina was a grade one student who was diagnosed with global delay and had drop seizures. She had some verbal skills when she was younger but had lost them before she started coming to school.  Nina would strike out at anyone near her if she was angry or had a drop seizure.  After Nina recovered from a drop seizure, there were times when she would actually crawl towards me to hit me. 

         Sometimes Nina would strike out when there seemed to be no reason or trigger.  Even before I looked into what the triggers were, I needed to give her a way to express herself without hitting.  I used a modified gesture of “go way” in sign language. I took both her hands and moved them toward me and said, “Go away.”  The motion for her would be moving two hands away from her body.  Nina responded quickly.  She started taking my hands and moving them towards me when she wanted me to go away.  I think she understood the gesture as pushing my hands away rather than moving her hands in a forward motion.    I was with her for about 6 years and throughout that time she continued to take someone’s hands to do the gesture.  I don’t know if she would have eventually learned to do the gesture without touching hands.  What was important was that she had a way to communicate.  The amount of “misbehaviour” dropped – not totally but it was a start.

       The next step was to add a gesture for “stay here”.  This came from Nina herself.  One day as she was sitting on the floor, she patted the floor.  I said, “Stay here.  You want me to stay here.”  She tapped the floor again.  I understood.  What comes next?  We added a gesture for “done” and a few others.  These were fine for simple needs but what about choices and finding out what Nina could learn?

      The easiest way to make a choice is a simple “yes” or “no”.  That opens the door for so much more especially choices.  I can’t remember who had the idea but between the support teacher and myself we decided to give Nina a way to say, “yes” and “no”.  We used picture symbols  –

a face with a smile for “yes” and a face with a frown for “no”.   

         For Nina, this was just a beginning.  The frustration and striking out became less and less.  She still would strike out after a drop seizure so we gave her some space and time to feel settled before we expected her to get up.  There were times when we couldn’t give her time to settle - when there was danger or an emergency such as a fire drill, it took two of the staff to help her move.  Explaining what we had to do only upset her more. It always bothered me that we had to take away her right to her own needs but her safety came first.

     

* It always makes a difference to ask yourself, “Why is this happening? What is causing this behaviour?”