THE EYES HAVE IT
Or
THE THRILL OF A GREAT JOKE
I vividly remember the children who taught me that
though the body may be “delayed,
different, or disabled” the mind is still active and can be full of
mischief.
As
a parent (and someone works with kids and teens), I enjoy watching children’s
eyes to see if they are paying attention or telling the truth. Even in TV police shows you hear, “He has
shifty eyes.” If you look into a child’s
eyes, you can see so much – excitement, sadness, whether they are tired or
wound up. When a child cannot speak, has
limited movement or a communication disorder, you really need to pay attention
to their facial expression and eyes.
If
you are rushed - and often we are – you will miss out on so much. Just as the adage states, “Stop and smell the
roses.” Take the time to slow down and
see what is really going on around you. Take
time to connect. I have found that it is
true and apt for the work I do. I would
have missed so much.
Barry’s Story
In
the 1980’s I started working in a day care at Sunny Hill Health Centre for Children. My experience up to this point was working with
typical children. The new experience at
SHH interacting with children who had different abilities was an eye-opener and
I learned how much actually goes on in the children’s heads.
One
particular boy captured my heart, and my funny-bone. Barry
was 4 years old, although with delayed physical development he was more the
size of a two year old. He had limited
physical control and no verbal skills. One
day I was on a mat with him, working on stretching his legs, when I found him
stiffening his legs rather than flowing with me. This was not usual and I suddenly thought,
“He’s teasing me!” So I looked at his
face and exclaimed, “Hey, Barry, are
you teasing me?” His eyes and face lit
up. I could almost hear the laughter in
his eyes! What a wonderful awakening for
me and what an amazing connection.
Take time to connect with your client.
Pete’s Story
Fast
forward 25 years – I was working in a support room at a high school in Maple
Ridge, B.C. The students were all unique
(aren’t we all?) due to varying disorders including Autism Spectrum Disorder
(ASD). Pete, a fourteen year old, seldom talked directly to people. Although he was high functioning, he
preferred not to interact with others.
(Yet, in another installment we discover that he does interact in his
own way.) He coped best with a
work-break schedule and limited verbal input.
I didn’t usually work with Pete but
when there was a staff shortage I was assigned to him for the afternoon.
By
this time in my career, I had learned the importance of being calm and
centered. The less yakking I do, the more comfortable the students with ASD are. Pete was
a prime example of that. Although I hadn’t
worked with him before, he seemed to be comfortable with me. It was during his break time that he touched
my heart.
Pete
was in his usual quiet corner playing with Lego. He had built a house and was adding to
it. As I was watching a short distance
away he said, “Look at the door.” Then Pete looked directly at my face. To me that was an invitation to come see the
door. I went over to him and we examined
the Lego house together. Pete was comfortable with the short
comments I made. I felt honoured.
A
simple look can open a world of possibilities.
